Beer in the Headlights

Chelsea covers Henny Youngman

"My Mom's a big-hearted girl with ankles to match."

"Lately she's been kind of down, so I told her she looks like a talent scout for a cemetery."

"Hey Mom, was that pants suit made to order? Where were you at the time?"

"Mom's campaign has been on a tight budget. So tight that my hotel room was so small, the mice were hunchbacked."

If only Dan Rather had this kind of imagination

Long ago Jerry O'Connell was the fat kid in Stand By Me. Then he grew up and fiddled around in Hollywood vacillating between TV and movies. Sometimes he does some funny stuff. Funny stuff like this:

No word on where Mary Mapes helped out in the project.

Chock full of interweb meme greatness

And the song is pretty good, too.

In her attempt at not blogging, Beth alerted me to this hilarious gem of Paultardism:

Meanwhile, in another small part of Texas, embittered Paultards are building a gated compound- uh, I mean, a 'gated community' named (wait for it...!) PAULVILLE.

Here's how they describe it:

The goal of Paulville.org it to establish gated communities containing 100% Ron Paul supporters and or people that live by the ideals of freedom and liberty.

Guns, pot and tax evasion for everyone!!!

Oh, man... Paulville... More like FAILville. How is this any different than the FLDS folks in West Texas? OK, so the Paultards aren't fundamentalist, adolescent-humping Mormons. But these morons would hump Ron Paul's leg if he were ever to grace Paulville with his presence.

Yes, Paultards are little cult members. A cult of non-personality fueled by lunatic ideas from a nut living with non-diagnosed Asperger's syndrome.

One the subject of lunatic ideas, how funny is the Bob Barr candidacy? He wants the Libertarian nomination and is off to a terrific start at winning the hearts and minds of mainstream Americans.

Bob Barr has been to the Dark Side, and they do indeed have cookies.

The Libertarian National Convention kicked off yesterday with a tea-and-cookies reception hosted by the Marijuana Policy Project featuring none other than Mr. Barr, the party's leading candidate for its presidential nomination.

While I'm all in favor of limited government, Libertarians are just plain insane.

Will we have Barrville to look forward to once Bob's campaign quickly sputters as a result of some shady PAC shenanigans?

There really is a difference between Ron Paul and Bob Barr. Ron Paul was a Libertarian and joined the Republican Party so he could actually win an election. Bob Barr went off the deep end after losing a to John Linder and joined the Libertarian Party out of sour grapes motivation.

Heck, it really doesn't matter. Libertarians are the party of the blue guy Stan Jones from Montana.

Filed under: "Stuff I Just Don't Get"

Obstacle course race featuring a Navy SEAL vs. a chimp. Yes. You read that correctly.

Who the heck came up with this fiasco?

Introducing MeatWater

Shame it ain't real. I could go for a nice warm bottle of Stroganoff.

Worth a thousand words. And then some.

Boortz